Post Marriage Counselling in India

Post Marital Life Counselling is a process of understanding the eachother better and establishing the right chord in the realtionship (especially by a qualified person) to the marital partners in an effort to recognize and to better manage or reconcile troublesome differences and repeating patterns of distress. Marriage counselling involves recommending a course of action to solve personal difficulties, and gives individuals the chance to talk about their issues in a comfortable and confidential manner. This process may need anywhere between 1 to 3 sessions sometimes even more.

However, for a much better and long-term result, what is required is "individual relationship therapy" as I call it. Therapy basically means treatment, but here it means more of healing and training the individuals to improve and maintain their relationships. This process may need anywhere between 12 to 24 sessions. Individual relationship therapy is more about seemingly intractable problems with a relationship history, where emotions are the target and the agent of change. It has lot to do with the past, even the early childhood.

Many engaged couples can get so caught up in their own love and happiness that they forget about the issues they may face once they are married. This includes budgeting, holiday plans, and other important things that may require compromise. The purpose of premarital education is to help bring the couple's attention to these issues, and to help them make plans in a neutral environment.

Post Marriage Counselling Beneficial

While marriage is one of the most sought after relationships, it also is a very tricky one. A high level of compatibility is felt when you meet that one person with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life with; sparks do fly and you feel you have just found the right person for you.

However, over a period of time, things do change. What was once cute or romantic does not continue to appeal the same way after a while. Knowing a person completely is an ongoing process, and even after marriage, especially if you move into a joint family. Knowing the person before beginning to live with the whole bunch is very important, as this helps in improving the understanding and increases the much required emotional space.

Not just that, people also do change with time and a relationship has to move to the next level too. Issues arise when people do not realise that and continue to expect things to remain unchanged rosy and romantic forever. What is surprising is that taking a step back and looking at the relationship objectively can help salvage the relationship in a number of cases.

The following are some situations when post marriage counselling can be very helpful.

When silence reigns: When a couple who would spend hours on the phone chatting away resort to silence for a major part of their time spent together, it is time to revisit the relationship. Getting external help is one of the best ways to tackle this, as talking to a friend or a family member can help get some insight.
When the couple just coexists: After a while, there seems to be something lost between the two, with only the same physical space being the common factor. There is a clear lack of intimacy, which can be brought back by getting someone else to talk.
For the children's sake, let's stay together: Although children help in strengthening the bond of the couple, they should not be the only reason for a couple to stay together. For a child, staying with a single parent may be more beneficial than staying in a family where the couple is constantly fighting. Here again, external help may be useful.
When there is the 'other' person: After the charm of marriage wears out, it is common for either of the couple to look for company outside the marriage. If an affair is being suspected, it is advisable to seek external help to clear the air and to save the relationship. A marriage can easily be saved, the only thing required is a fresh pair of ears and eyes to hear and look at it from all perspectives. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychologist.n

Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult's life. That's why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.

Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stress upon the marital relationship.

Basic practices of marital therapy

The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
Another method used is called "Cinematic immersion". Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
Behavioral couples' therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.

The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.

Role of the relationship counselor

A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:

Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage's difficulties to the partners
Outlines the potential and direction for change
Delivers important information
Improves communication
Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
Creates new patterns of interaction
Increases emotional attachment between partners

Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can't save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what's the best for you and your partner. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.

We are married for over a decade now, do we need post marriage counselling?

Generally, couples take each other for granted and think that they know all about their spouse and it's just adjustment and compromise that is essential to keep the marriage going. You have one life; would you as a spouse want to live in chains or want to explore better ways to lead a happily married life with your spouse?

If the answer to this is "Yes"; all you need to do it contact us to experience the joy of living in your married life.

We are married and we do not have problems but we feel that there is something missing in our married life, what can it be?

You are right, there are many couples who come to us saying the same sentence. Some missing and cannot find out? Come to us to redefine your married life into a meaningful one.

We are about to get married and we have been dating for some time, we feel we know everything about each other. Do we need post marriage counselling?

This is a good question and this question can be answered in one simple phrase "Prevention is better than cure". During pre-marital counselling we understand the personality of both the spouse and give necessary and practical guidelines to lead a meaningful and colourful married life.

We feel that in our married life all is well. Do we still need marriage counselling?

You can make your married life more meaningful and colourful as we try to unearth the best qualities that you have within you which can lead you as a couple a way to go.

We are staying in a different location, how can we avail your services?

Well, with internet by our side geography is now history. You can seek online coaching with prior appointment. You can choose to get our services at your door step too anywhere in the world for details, contact us.