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Marriage, especially in India, is considered as a sacred institution. Be it the youngsters or aged people, for both, marriage holds a very respectable place in their eyes. But due to an age gap, youngsters & parents often have a differing take on marriage. If youngsters have an open sky to fly, on the contrary, few of the parents have confined themselves into the handcuffs of society, tradition, rituals, culture, religion etc.
And when such parent's children want to get married to their choice of girl/boy, the tiff begins.
This is where a proper communication comes into picture.
In this post, we look at how to deal with your parents who aren't agreeing to a boy/girl of your choice for marriage, and how to convince them.
Marriage is the most important decision of any person's life. Whenever we think about choosing a life partner, each one of us has our different priorities, preferences, and choices. Few of us want a working partner so few prefer a home maker. For a few, the main criteria are beauty and looks, so few want a smart and financially independent partner. But one thing which is a common preference for everyone is a compassionate and understanding partner.
This is one of the reasons, love marriages are getting popular these days. People develop a liking for someone in their college, in the workplace, neighbourhood etc. Unlike arrange marriages, love marriage has a higher scope of knowing each other, understand the differences, likes, dislikes, common interests etc. So, two people who are in love and emotionally bonded with each other, mutually decide to spend their life with each other in the institution of marriage.
The era in which we are living in, people are quite open-minded, parents give freedom to their kids in choosing their career, lifestyle, and marriage relationship too. However, there are still a few cases, where we hear about the disagreement from the families when it comes to choosing a life partner and love marriage seems a nightmare. And then, comes the trickiest and toughest part for a couple in love to convince their parents of their marriage relationship.
Many times it happens that though children love their parents, either they don't share a good rapport with their parents or they have a communication gap between them. It could be because their thinking doesn't match and they start ignoring or rebelling their parents or their parents get replaced by their friends, studies, and their own personal life.
Since you have made your mind of marrying the partner of your choice, you also want your parents to also accept your decision. Additionally, try to spend time with them, discuss the topics of your friends and understand your parent's opinion on your friend's relation problems or issues that resemble your situation.
To convince parents for love marriage the first step is to make them meet your partner. This meeting's purpose will be to make your own parents understand your relationship and how much devoted you both are for each other. Tell your partner everything on time so before the meeting (Please Note: I am not talking about putting a false side of your partner in front of your own parents, I am just telling you to make your partner give their best when they meet with your parents).
If you are able to use this meeting to impress your parents that he/she is an ideal match for you, it will be simple for them to convince you of a love marriage with him.
An even better thing to do would be to present your daughter/man to your parents as a friend of yours, at least every year before intending to marry. Help your parents to know about each other and help them to understand each other in a better way. If you talk about someone to your parents and understand later then it can create an issue of union with them. So convincing your parents that they are understanding, caring and the relationship would last long would not be much more difficult.
Now you need to introduce your partner. Give your partner and your parents time to understand each other. Before introducing your partner to parents, do give a brief idea about each family member to your partner.
The most important thing is to establish a comfort between your partner and your own family. And when your family has started trusting your partner and liking him/her, it's time to make your parents meet and fix dates!
It's tough to convince some reserved and orthodox parents, but it's not impossible.Remember that in all the process you need to be very patient, positive and have empathy towards your parents feeling. Like I have written before, every parent wants their children to remain happy and blessed.
Compatibility goes far beyond horoscopes, caste, food customs, family history, and fiscal capacity. It will depend on the types of characters, beliefs, tastes and approaches to the relationship, etc. And these things can never even be tried without spending at least two years in an active relationship with one another (that you are all fine). Choosing a man or a girl with whom you plan to spend your whole life implies reconciling different personalities, those of your parents and your lover. Your family may hate your choice. Facing this situation and reaching a consensus would save your love for each other. No one is held responsible but it may take time to do its work.
Before you talk to your parents, you need to be very clear in your heart and mind that you can't accept anyone else in your life and will be ready to face any situation and consequences arising as an outcome of your decision. You need to be sure about the person you have chosen and that you really want him/her in your life forever. It is not just an infatuation but real love. There should not be any space for doubts and insecurities. Be sure, determined and then only, initiate a discussion and talk to your parents.
Try to arrange their informal meeting with your love. This will help both the parties to know each other in a better way. Be honest. Don't portray any such information which is not correct. Be yourself and let your partner do the same. Don't set the wrong expectations. Relations which are laid on lies and fake foundation, don't last long and dissolve soon.
Remember when you were a kid and wanted something, your parents may not have agreed immediately. But over a period of time, they agreed to your demands and gave in. So, give them some time. Build the trust gradually.
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